Marie Kondo is an organizing consultant famous for her books and the Netflix series, “Tidying Up with Marie Kondo” and “Sparking Joy with Marie Kondo”. She helps people declutter by asking the simple question of whether an item sparks joy in their life. Her clients often agonized over removing items from their home, be it old clothes to toys their kids outgrew. When they finally saw the light, the act of decluttering helped them get more space and peace of mind.

Could the same process be done in the digital world? Are social media apps, like Instagram or TikTok, truly sparking joy in your own life? Would removing an app from your phone allow you to reclaim more time for yourself?

Technoferance

Technology and social media introduced a paradigm shift, and modern parents are still trying to find a healthy relationship with them. “Technoferance” was coined more than 10 years ago, as a term to describe technology-based disruptions during interactions between family members, such as parent-child interactions.

Why does this matter? I found a lot of value in this research article by McDaniel et al. 2024:

• On average, parents report 3-4 smartphone or other technological disruptions in their parenting conversations or activities each day. Another study estimated ~27% of parent-child bonding time is dedicated to technoferances. These can occur at anytime of parenting activities, from playtime, mealtime/feeding, and bedtime.
• Parents often use technoferances as a way to escape their daily stresses. While it can provide short term relief, the long-term negative impacts can be profound: 1) exacerbate fears and induce more stress; 2) depression for both the parent and child; 3) greater use of screen time for kids (like a negative feedback loop).
• How we use smartphones is important: “Passive” vs “Active” use appears to play a major role. “Passive” is often associated with mindless doomscrolling and leads to negative consequences related to technoferance. “Active” social media use is geared towards direct interactions with friends/family or actively learning something new, and is associated with the positive consequences of technoferances.

Separately, results from a study (>9,700 students, ages 11-20) found a noticeable negative parent-child association when social media daily usage exceeded 2 h (strangely, this amount of social media use did not increase the odds of a negative relationship in a mother-son pairing). Moderate use social media (< 2 h) did not correlate with negative parent-child associations (Sampasa-Kayinga et al 2020).

Bottom line: The long-term impact of technoferances is still being unraveled as smartphones and social media become more ubiquitous. While there are many things we can do to help reduce stress and build relationships between parent and child, changing our relationship with phones is something we can address today.

Let’s Do Something About It!

I, like many people, indulge in the addictive habit of doom scrolling. Instagram, Youtube, and ESPN were my vice. If I had to answer the question of whether these apps truly sparked joy in my life, I would say “rarely”.

As your guinea pig, I took a first stab at this exercise:

• Instagram: As an amateur photographer, I made the excuse that Instagram was an app made for me. However I often just doom scrolled through posts, sometimes 30-60 min a day, despite mostly seeing ads or non-authentic lifestyle posts. Verdict: REMOVE
• Youtube: This is a tough one … Youtube serves as a virtual classroom for myself and I have learned a lot through this platform. However, Youtube Shorts has recently dominated my precious time, leading me to doom scroll for hours. Verdict: REMOVE
• ESPN: As an athlete, I enjoy playing sports and celebrating athletic achievement. Reading about the hidden backstories behind iconic moments in sports history gives me another layer of appreciation behind the highlights. I also enjoy rooting for my favorite players and teams, and really enjoy the numbers and stats they put up after each game. Verdict: THIS SPARKS JOY, KEEP!

Notice that my verdict was to REMOVE apps on my phone, not DELETE. Your account is still live, just not easily accessible on your phone. This simple adjustment and loss of convenience adds a barrier to accessing this apps.

The results? I am saving, on average, ~40 min a day on my phone! I have been able to spend more time on books I enjoy, as well as learning a new language. MORE ME TIME!

If removing apps is too severe, try abstaining social media for a few weeks, and record how you felt / what you did with that extra time.

We would love to hear from your experience! Share your screenshots with us!

Before vs. after decluttering my apps